Unicorns can't fly. I can't fly. I must be a unicorn.
If you believe in yourself you can be anything.
instant eligible bachelor: just add bow tie.
Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn. Then be a unicorn.
When you put eyebrows on your dog but you didn't need to because he was already a grumpy old man.
Me when someone brings me food.
Ladies, your date has arrived. Tag your single friends!
If I did this I'd be arrested for public indecency. He does it and he gets a belly rub. 🙄
When u mad but bae asks if you want food.
"Back in my day I only had one toy, and it was a stick."
Someone told me I was delusional. I was so shocked that I almost fell off my unicorn.
Nose envy, featuring Bryn.
Me: "I'd love to hang out, but I have so much to do!" Also me:
Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who's the biggest derp of all?
When you go to work on a Monday but you're hungover and want everyone to leave you alone.
If this hasn't been you at least once in your life you aren't living. #fact
Yes, we did go to Kmart today. How'd you guess? 😂😂 #kmartnz