If you're handsome and you know it, tilt your head.

7 Hours ago
16 Hours ago

Unicorns can't fly. I can't fly. I must be a unicorn.

1 Days ago

If you believe in yourself you can be anything.

2 Days ago

instant eligible bachelor: just add bow tie.

2 Days ago

Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn. Then be a unicorn.

4 Days ago

When you put eyebrows on your dog but you didn't need to because he was already a grumpy old man.

4 Days ago

Me when someone brings me food.

4 Days ago

Ladies, your date has arrived. Tag your single friends!

5 Days ago

If I did this I'd be arrested for public indecency. He does it and he gets a belly rub. 🙄

5 Days ago

When u mad but bae asks if you want food.

6 Days ago

"Back in my day I only had one toy, and it was a stick."

6 Days ago

Someone told me I was delusional. I was so shocked that I almost fell off my unicorn.

6 Days ago

Nose envy, featuring Bryn.

7 Days ago

Me: "I'd love to hang out, but I have so much to do!" Also me:

7 Days ago

Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who's the biggest derp of all?

8 Days ago

When you go to work on a Monday but you're hungover and want everyone to leave you alone.

8 Days ago

If this hasn't been you at least once in your life you aren't living. #fact

8 Days ago

Yes, we did go to Kmart today. How'd you guess? 😂😂 #kmartnz

9 Days ago

Let's face it, everything I buy for myself eventually ends up on a dog. Like my @biffy_clyro pins. 🙄

9 Days ago